Many of us have had the privilege to either be hurt enough and walk away or strong enough to end a relationship and move on. Do we really move on? How long does it take to erase the memories of an ex?
Days, weeks, months? Heard a quote the other day and it made me smile, "be careful who you make memories with, those things last a lifetime". Part of these memories could be a place, mine was cos whenever I pass that scene, which was everyday, I broke down. And that really contributed to me not healing on time back then.
Do you use an eraser to clean all the "memories" of an ex? As traumatic and painful as the hurt, hate, deceit and distance will be, the memories or thoughts of the ex won't be gone in a jiffy. And boy oh boy, the next person will have a steep hurdle infront of him/her.
All the "good" associated with "ex" should be done and even exceeded. For example, if ex used to take you out on a date twice a week, the new guy must try as much as possible to either do that or beat that record. A benchmark will be set. We gals do a lot of comparison, I don't blame them, after all the times their hearts have been toyed with, played with, kicked and broken , gals are now wiser.
Men on the other hand are no saints or not guilty of the same crime. Once a gal agrees to date you, you pull the "this is what my ex liked doing that I don't like", did you tell her you don't like it prior to now before making reference and tagging.
A friend told me that while dating her ex, he didnt for one day give her cash or even mere gifts. His excuse was that he spent alot on his ex but the girl still dumped him flatly so he swore to never spend on any gal until she becomes his Mrs. So she should chill until he marries her, then will he spoil her with gifts. The gal simply looked at him in aww, so she should have to suffer for the sins of his ex? Wonderful.
Women hate that shit. Commmoooon guyz. Same way guys don't like women making comparisons about their ex's "sexual bravado or prowess". Eg, "hmmmmmm, my ex had a 13inch and really knew how to use it". Easy. Ladies, don't make them jealous of your ex. Egos as well as "eggplants" are deflated by this.
Guyz, you aint left out here either. What's it with "my ex was flexible, she could do all styles in the bedroom, or she cooks better, cleans the house, washes my clothes, blablabla". Say what? Do you want to turn me into your ex, why then did you leave her? Take note guys, ladies also hate that comparison.
Once you are in a new relationship, or healing from an "ex" syndrome, put a veil on the ex, start afresh. Stop the comparison,what ifs and whatnot's, give him/her a chance to learn. Or what do you think?